• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • SHOP
    • Upcoming Release Gallery Photos
    • Free Classes/Workshops on Teachable
    • Special Offers on New Releases!
    • Why Jill Wolcott Knits Patterns are Expensive
  • BLOG
  • LEARNING
    • Free Classes/Workshops on Teachable
    • What Is An Action Chart?
    • Menu of Techniques
    • Techniques Library : What’s In There?
    • Abbreviations
    • Sizing Tables / Charts / Guidelines & Croquis
    • Pattern Difficulty Levels / Type of Knitting
    • Why Jill Wolcott Knits Patterns are Expensive
    • Inside a Jill Wolcott Knits Pattern
    • How-To Videos: Learn from Jill
      • Why I Love . . . Techniques
    • Jill Wolcott Knits: A Fit Background
    • 2021-2022 Workshops With Jill Wolcott Knits
    • Overview of ASOG – A System of Grading
  • ABOUT
    • Designer’s Story
    • Calendar Events Schedule
    • Inside Scoop Subscribe & Newsletter Archives
    • Fundraising Projects
    • Jill Wolcott Knits
      • Jill Wolcott curriculum vitae
    • Techniques Library : What’s In There?
    • Abbreviations
    • Errata
    • Privacy Notice for Jill Wolcott Knits
  • CONTACT
  • My Account
  • Press

Jill Wolcott Knits logo

September 11, 2021 7 Comments

All too human – is that the worst that we can be?

In describing my actions on the morning of August 29, I used the words “I felt all too human”, and trust me I was not being kind to myself.  Let me fill you in. I have been mulling this over since that morning, and have gone through the adrenaline rush of realizing the mistake I had made, a frenzy of trying to sort out a solution, and having to carry on. That was followed by feeling completely heart sick. Then I picked myself up and continued to moved forward. I spoke to my therapist about the “incident” before writing this because I didn’t want to get it wrong.  We talked about the shame I felt, while at the same time knowing there was nothing I could do, that I hadn’t purposefully done it, and that I needed to give myself some grace.

All too human: Checking the results on my dress form

Nearly finished! An indulgent project for me.

The All Too Human Incident

If you have been following my blog, social media posts, or my newsletter, you know I was totally psyched about the Melissa Leapman Professional Development Summit at which I was teaching five classes.  I used all those outlets to tell everyone I knew and encourage designers and others to join the Summit.  I was pumped about each class topic, and worked on creating amazing slides for the classes, polishing the content to get the largest amount of material into the short time I had.  My schedule that week was rearranged so I would be rested and ready. The slides were reviewed daily, getting tweaked as I thought of new points, or better points, to make. I was totally ready to be the professional that I am.Shell in Turin from Apple Oak Fiber Studio

I taught my Sizing class and a class on Collaborations on August 28.  They both seemed to go really well.  I was set to do my three classes, beginning at 8 am on the 29th. The alarm went off at 6:45, I began my morning routine, got showered and dressed (looking sharp!), and then entered the zen state I enter every morning and totally forgot to keep my eye on the clock.  Mitch realized the time at 8:04. I ran to my computer and got online, but it was too late.  I was horrified at myself.

Incident Follow-Up

Melissa Leapman was completely gracious and had, as I would have, found a solution in the 15 minutes before the class was to start. I hadn’t seen any of the alarms or emails, because I don’t usually check my phone in the mornings. I didn’t wake up my computer, although I went in and out of my office several times to make notes for myself on the classes. The whole zen time I was thinking about how to do the best possible classes, but I completely forgot to keep an eye on the time.

The gig was Melissa’s so it was her call what to do. The other two classes went off without incident and again, I thought they went really well, although I remained a little rattled. The funny thing was, the class I missed was the one I was the most excited to teach. This wasn’t a self-sabotage incident, it was truly, just being all to human.

What I Know About Myself

Mornings are not my best time. I never schedule calls before 10 am.  If absolutely pushed, I’ll do them after 9, but I always warn people that it isn’t my best time. After an entire adult life of getting up every morning, I still use an alarm. As an example, this morning I slept to 8:45 when there wasn’t an alarm set. Short weeks are hard! Mitch knows better than to try to engage me too early in the morning, and I am sorely annoyed with him when he does so. I had to quit teaching 8:30 classes at FIDM because I always felt crabby.

All too human:The back is more finished/polished

Back view. It isn’t blocked yet. I’ve got to finish one more front shoulder.

My therapist agreed that it was just a thing that happened. We discussed the shame I feel, and also how I know there is absolutely nothing that will change that “the incident” happened. I hope that Melissa doesn’t judge me too harshly. I so enjoyed giving the classes and Melissa and her team were delightful and helpful, and I was completely impressed by her organization!

How to Move On

All too human:Love this shoulder detail

The cable straps. Love them.

I used to try to be things I’m not. I don’t have the energy to do that any more. Plus, I don’t think I should have to be anything but myself. Of course I try to be thoughtful, gracious, funny, smart, flexible, and all those things we should be to live in society, but I also want to be creative, curious, focused, selfish about my time, generous, and all the other things I also am. So, I totally #$^%ed up. Yes, indeed I did. Life goes on. As it should.

 

 

 

Related Posts

  • Why Attend the Professional Development Summit (PD Summit)
    Why Attend the Professional Development Summit (PD Summit)

Filed Under: Blog, Classes & Workshops Tagged With: class, classes, human, incident, Melissa Leapman, Melissa Leapman's Professional Development Summit, morning, shame, teaching, time, zen

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lynn says

    September 11, 2021 at 4:26 pm

    Thanks Jill. You’ve taught us to survive our mistakes, apologize and move on.

    Take care,
    Lynn

    Reply
    • Jill says

      September 11, 2021 at 4:54 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  2. Bonnie Baker says

    September 12, 2021 at 2:23 pm

    Jill we all make mistakes. Being a professional I’m sure being on time is top priority.
    I’m glad you saw your therapist for this.
    I too would have felt shame.
    Bonnie

    Reply
    • Jill says

      September 12, 2021 at 2:34 pm

      Thank you Bonnie!

      Reply
  3. Laureen Marchand says

    September 20, 2021 at 8:39 am

    Even sometimes we wish the earth would swallow us up, life does go on. And in these kinds of situations, sometimes there isn’t even anything to learn. Except that you give grace to all of us with your honest recounting of an accident.

    Reply
    • Jill says

      September 20, 2021 at 11:52 am

      Thank you Laureen. Honesty is always the best. We try so hard not to be flawed, but we all are!

      Reply
  4. Lynn Somerstein says

    September 20, 2021 at 12:01 pm

    Our flaws make us
    Human.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Jill’s Story

Teacher, Designer, with expertise to lead you where you want to go as a knitter/designer. Read More…

Blog Archive

Don’t Miss these Techniques!

Button Links

Button Links

most of the shelves on the yarn wall

Color Play in Yarn

Steam Block

Popular in the Shop

  • Half-size dress form wearing dk version in pink and purple from Oink Pigments Clapham Trio: Junction, Road, & Common $20.00
  • ASOG 2023 Deposit-in-Full: Gou Pei Dress ASOG 2023 Registration Deposit-in-Full $100.00
  • ASOG 2023 Deposit-in-Payment: Gou Pei Dress with wings ASOG 2023 Registration Deposit-in-Payments $100.00 / 7 days
  • Guild Merino Silk from Oink Pigments ASOG 2022 FS Flat Fee $900.00
  • illustrator sketch of three bust types, side view ASOG A La Carte $50.00

Stay Updated

Footer

About Jill

Teacher, Designer, with expertise to lead you where you want to go as a knitter/designer.

Pattern Availability

If you live outside of the US and Canada you can now purchase Jill Wolcott Knits PDF patterns directly through Payhip.

Stay Connected

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Ravelry

© 2023 Jill Wolcott Knits