Last week I was in despair. I did not think we would ever get our things to fit into this new space. I was not finding sufficient things to get rid of to make a difference, and so I abandoned hope and just did other things for several days. Mostly my anguish was in my studio. There was virtually no clear space, and I knew there were things in the garage I hadn’t brought up yet.
Keeping Despair in Check
So I wouldn’t feel complete despair I established my little art area and allowed myself to use it. It seemed like the only part of my space that was sorted out. I was snippy with Mitch a few times, and I worked on tiny things like aggregating all my post-it notes into one box; sorting my pens, even sorting my paper clips. Each of those things felt fine, but nothing seemed to be clearing space. So I just gave into despair. I wrote my blog. I wrote my newsletter. I created a free pattern. I sorted things out on the SF house, tried to sort things out here, we went to Pilates. I worked on a pattern.
There wasn’t a slow coming together. I didn’ t have a new vision. I had lists (and kept making them) and knew what had to be done, I just couldn’t make it work. Friday night as we sat down to our martini the doorbell rang. It was my friend Val and her date Lindsey. I had completely forgotten they were coming by (even though Mitch and I had discussed it, it wasn’t on my calendar–but I’ve been having calendar issues). But it was the cocktail hour and so I made them martinis and we had a wonderful time. Eventually Mitch made a reservation nearby and we went to dinner. It was a really great evening: Lindsey and Mitch both love music, Val and I are knitting colleagues.
Saturday was filled with errands, lining drawers, sorting out the garage, a bit of art, and cooking. Sunday we had brunch out, followed by a trip to buy more markers (12–they were having a sale!), Mitch went to the book store (he bought small books since we have no space?), and the farmer’s market. I lined shelves, did laundry, and measured the shelves and drawers I’d forgotten. This is not a project I enjoy. I took a bath. I made more lists. The lists made sense, but I felt despair, not progress.
Today it all sorted itself out. Patience and diversion seemed to have been key. But I’m not patient. I wasn’t really diverted because I kept feeling despair. But time away seems to have treated the despair with a large helping of “this can be done”.
I still have piles of things to sort out, but at least I feel I’ve earned the mani-pedi I have scheduled tonight!