Why is the Now self the hardest? It is the one that gets us into all kinds of trouble. It forgets to do things for our Future self, and often has to ignore our True self. The Now self takes all the flack and incoming from all the things in our lives that seem to heap themselves on us at the most inopportune times.
The Now Self Takes The Blame
Remember when you said you would love to do that project, and you put it on your calendar and that deadline seemed perfectly reasonable? Except you forgot to thoughtfully plan, and now, while you have been honoring your True and Future selves, your Now self has to get that project done. Everyone else has left the building and Now is standing there holding the ball. Who’s fault will it be if the project doesn’t get done? Who should have been planning? Well, Now is always in charge, so Now takes the blame.
The Now Self Creates the Problems
Let me enumerate some ways that the Now Self may cause problems:
- Failing to Plan
- Reacting to Others
- Letting Others Set the Agenda
- Giving Our True Self Too Much Latitude
- Giving Undue Priority to The Wrong Things
- Wanting To Make Everyone Happy
- Failing to Listen to Our Intuition
Your list may be a little different. Women tend to see themselves as part of a system and as a result we take too many other things into account when deciding what to do and when to do it. Our generosity of spirit tends to put ourselves somewhere down a list of priorities. And that gets us into trouble.
Balance: A Triad
If we have a True Self, a Future Self, and a Now Self, that could be a perfectly balanced stool. Or it could be a tippy thing that causes no end of difficulties. Finding that perfectly balanced stool within your life is what we all need to do, every day.
Can you list one thing that you could do to make your stool more balanced right now?
I could do ______________________________ to balance my Now self.
I could do ______________________________ to balance my True self.
I could do ______________________________ to balance my Future self.
This is how I would fill out that list:
Then how do I implement?
- I do a hour of planning and scheduling every Monday at 10:30 am. I honor my calendar, but I am okay with switching up what project I work on if I’m not inclined to what I’ve scheduled—as long as I get to anything I blow off later in the week.
- I constantly remind myself that getting done is just a part of the process. Putting things away and keeping projects sorted out makes it so much easier to work! Any time I finish something, I get to start something new.
- I’ve got my TNNA plans underway. It is too early to make dinner reservations, but I can email my friends and start planning! I can make sure all my documents are in my notebook.
How will you balance your stool?
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